He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
