she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
