I didn't shave. On purpose
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
