Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
