I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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