First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
