Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.

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(352): View more from Florida

Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.

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(563): View more from Iowa

What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?

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(614): View more from Ohio

I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'

(614): View more from Ohio

omg so drunk

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(212): View more from New York

You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself

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