If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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