I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
