Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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