the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just puked most of my soul out..
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