what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
