I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
