so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
