1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
