remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
