You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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