i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she smelled like a LAN party
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
