I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
