Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
