The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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