Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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