addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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