Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
