do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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