PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
