I CAN MOONWALK!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
