i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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