my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
