And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
