Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
