i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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