She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
