I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
