can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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