"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
