well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
FUCK WHALES
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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