i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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