2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you will always have a special place in my vag
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
