i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
