i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
