just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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