We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
