I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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