Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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