well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
