i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
