I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
