You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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