I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
